Divorce is a highly emotional time. There are days you are going to want to go for the jugular and there are days you are just going to want to roll over. Having an attorney will help you get through this with his/her level head to advise you of the legal pros and cons of each action. This blog entry will help you in avoiding some of the biggest mistakes I see.
1. STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. I do not mean do not read social media. That is totally OK. What is not OK is posting, commenting, liking, PM’ing, etc. anything on social media. Every action you do on social media can be turned around into a negative thing.
2. DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING. This is called spoliation of evidence and can land you in a whole lot more trouble than anything that you are trying to delete.
3. DO NOT RUN STRAIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY. Just because you had a fight (as long as not physical) does not mean divorce court is the place you should go first. Divorce should be after you have considered all options and realize that this is the only way to move on.
4. DO NOT JUST HIRE ANY ATTORNEY. Make sure you feel comfortable with the attorney. If you have to consult with multiple attorneys do so. Divorce can be expensive and you need the attorney who works for you. Beware of attorneys that tell you everything you want to hear. If you hear, “you will get everything you want” you should be concerned. No one can give you guarantees on what you will get in a divorce. A good attorney will be a great listener and will be able to tell you realistic expectations.
5. THINKING YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN. Divorce is tough, trying, and very emotional, however, you will have to work with your spouse to determine how to divide items like bank accounts, cell phones, houses, retirement plans. You will need your spouse to fill in some of the blanks on information you do not know. And if you have children, you definitely will be talking with your spouse again.
6. THINKING THAT YOU CAN KEEP THE KIDS FROM YOUR SPOUSE. Just because you ask for a hearing to determine who should have the kids primarily does not mean your spouse should not get to spend time with them prior to the hearing. Both of you are part of your children’s lives and will remain that way.